Cliff House: The Air Conditioner

Friday, June 4, 1993

HOLLYBEND, morning, several days later . . .

ROGER rings HOLLY’S doorbell several times. No answer. He opens the screen door and peers through the glass in the door and in the windows. He calls out, “Holly! I know you’re in there! Open up!”

CUT to the 5^th STREET DINER. HOLLY enters with a tiny sign.

HOLLY: Stavros!

UNCLE STAVROS: Oh, the beautiful Ms. Lindsey! My day was so dark until you showed here to lighten it up!

HOLLY: Can I use your bulletin board?

UNCLE STAVROS: By all means.

HOLLY: Great, thanks. I want somebody to do some work for me.

UNCLE STAVROS: What worker could resist working for you? The workers will be lined up for kilometers! You can use my bulletin board anytime, Ms. Lindsey.

HOLLY: Best offer I’ve had today.

STAVROS laughs.

HOLLY: See you!

As HOLLY leaves, BUZZ walks by to do some cleaning and notices her as she passes. One might say that he’s having an “extra-curricular” moment. Nothing is made of it.

HOLLY finds ROGER on her porch, still yelling. The ensuing conversation has a distinctly school-yard tone, as in “Nyah, Nyah, Nyah!”

ROGER: Holly!

HOLLY: Roger—you don’t have to shout. [She opens her door with a key.] What’s the matter—FCC come down on you at long last?

They step inside. ROGER takes HOLLY’S arm. She jerks it back from him

ROGER: Don’t ever come at me through Jenna again!

HOLLY: Trouble in paradise?

ROGER: My relationship with Jenna is none of your business.

HOLLY: Ooh, serious trouble.

ROGER: I can’t tell you how much I resent your going to her!

HOLLY: But you’re gonna give it your best shot, right?

ROGER: I’m serious, Holly.

HOLLY: Yeah? Well, you’re also tiresome, and it’s too hot for this. Would you please leave? I’ve got business to take care of.

ROGER: Business? You mean the newspaper? I thought that was still pending.

HOLLY: Well, it’s not finalized, but—

ROGER: Holly Lindsey, the Journal’s fraternity sweetheart!

HOLLY: What’s that supposed to mean?

ROGER: Oh, you don’t think they’re going to let you do anything, do you? That rag is Nick’s and Alan-Michael’s baby. They’ll take your money and put you in charge of fluff and trivia.

HOLLY: Yeah, you’d like to think so.

ROGER: You’ll be a tinsel-hanger!

HOLLY: They know what I did for WSPR.

ROGER: What’d you do?

HOLLY: I turned it around.

ROGER: Oh, you did?

HOLLY: Single-handedly!

ROGER: Please!

HOLLY: And you know it!

ROGER: Listen, when you took over WSPR, there was nowhere to go but up!

HOLLY: So up I took it. That’s what you’re afraid of, aren’t you?

ROGER: What?

HOLLY: That I’m gonna do the same thing for The Journal.

ROGER: You were lucky once, Holly. Don’t push it.

HOLLY: Bye! You were just leaving, weren’t you, Rog?

ROGER almost leaves, but he comes back in and the screen door slams behind him.

ROGER: Why did you sell out to Jenna? How could you do that?

HOLLY: It wasn’t that hard.

ROGER: Why would you hurt me like that?

HOLLY [laughs]: Oh, don’t flatter yourself. She offered the right price, that’s all.

ROGER: That’s not all, and you know it!

HOLLY: I needed capital, and she had it right there in her hot little hands.

ROGER: You wanted to shake us up!

HOLLY: Why!?

ROGER: You got me. That’s the one thing about all this that doesn’t tally.

HOLLY: Well, there’s got to be other things in your life that “doesn’t tally,” Roger, so why don’t you go “tally” somewhere else?

ROGER: You know, you don’t want me, and yet you can’t stand the thought of me being with anybody else.

HOLLY: You know, you suffer from terrible delusions. Would you please leave?

[A bit of that mournful Roger/Holly theme music starts playing right here.... hmmmm...]

ROGER: Look, if I can’t have a future with you, at least give me a shot at one with my kids. I’m building something for them, and Jenna can help with that.

HOLLY [She yells, is “rattled”—this breaks through the sarcasm.]: Whatever you do with Jenna is your own business, and my business with both of you is concluded!

There is a knock at the door. HOLLY goes to it and finds . . .

HOLLY: Hart!

HART: Oh, I should have known.

HOLLY: What?

HART: It was you.

HOLLY: What?

HART: Who put the note on the board at the diner.

HOLLY: Oh!

HART: I saw your address. It sounded familiar.

HOLLY: You’re here about the job?

HART: Yeah. It said you needed to have your air conditioner installed.

HOLLY: Hauled, really, from the basement to the bedroom.

HART: I can haul.

HOLLY: Great. Come in.

HART: Thanks. Nice house.

HOLLY: Thanks. It’s a real coincidence, your uh . . [HOLLY pauses. ROGER has disappeared.]

HART: What?

HOLLY: Your coming out so quickly.

HART: Yeah. I’m lucky I saw it before anybody else did. I haven’t caught a break in a while, so—

HOLLY: Well, this is the only job I have right now.

HART: I’ll take it.

HOLLY: Great. The guy I usually call for this stuff is out of town.

HART: Well, better for me.

HOLLY: Yeah, with this heat, I need all the air conditioning I can get.

HART: Great. You said it’s in the cellar?

HOLLY: Yeah, it’s way in the back . . . [She points.]

HART [looking confused]: Which way to the cellar?

HOLLY: That way, around to the left.

HART: Thanks. Holly . . . Thanks for the job.

HOLLY: Well, thank you for coming out.

HART: Well, it’s a pleasure. Nice drive down here. The river view is beautiful.

HOLLY: Yeah, it’s really pretty. There’s usually a breeze coming up, but uh—with this kind of heat, it’s been dead still.

HART: Yeah, it’s hot out there.

HOLLY: Yeah. [a little louder] Kind of weather makes you want to kill somebody.

HART: I can only think of a couple people I’d like to do in.

HOLLY: Oh, I’ve got a longer list than that.

HART: Well, I’d better get along.

HOLLY: Yeah, thanks.

After HART goes down to the cellar . . .

HOLLY: Come out, come out, wherever you are!

ROGER reappears.

ROGER: I missed the first part. What did you do—advertise for a handyman?

HOLLY: Well, not exactly “advertise.” Why did you hide?

ROGER: Because I don’t want him to see me, obviously.

HOLLY: Why?

ROGER: Because if he had, he would have left.

HOLLY: When he comes back, are you gonna hide again? No, what am I saying? You’re leaving!

ROGER: Holly, wait. I don’t get much of a chance to see him. I’d just like to know he’s okay.

They look into each other’s face.

A bare-chested HART comes out of HOLLY’S bedroom, to find her sitting on a sofa reading a magazine. ROGER is hiding again.

HOLLY: Hi. How’s it going?

HART: Not good.

HOLLY: What’s the matter?

HART: Well, getting it out of the cellar wasn’t hard, but lining it flush with the window is kinda tricky. I think I’m going to need to call in for a buddy.

ROGER [stepping out of hiding]: I’ll help.

HOLLY: Your father was here. We were just discussing something.

ROGER: What needs to be done?

HART: The air conditioner has to slide into some brackets. I’m having trouble lining it up.