Friday, June 25. 1993
SCENE: In soap opera time, it’s July 3, 1993, one day before HOLLY and MICHELLE go to the Cliff House. It is also the day of Billy and Vanessa’s second wedding.
At the SPAULDING MANSION, JENNA has locked herself in her boudoir. ROGER stands outside with a tray, talking to JENNA through the locked double-doors.
ROGER: Jenna! Jenna! C’mon, now. I have an omelet here made with porcini mushrooms, and it’s a known fact that woman cannot live by rage alone. C’mon. Talk to me. What did I do?
JENNA: What did you do? I was with our clients, with my stomach in knots trying to think up excuses why you never showed up!
ROGER: Yeah, but I got calls of praises this morning. You handled the whole deal perfectly without me. You did great.
JENNA: You’re damn right I did! WHERE WERE YOU!!??
The scene fades out on ROGER’S face. He knows this is going to be tough.
HOLLY: Not today. . . .[HOLLY’S eyes fall on a copy of the newspaper.] Oh, look. They’re writing up the wedding before it even happens. Risky.
BUZZ [glances at a woebegone NADINE, then . . . back at HOLLY]: You’ve got to hand it to Billy and Vanessa. They’ve got guts. [Incredulously] Would you walk down the aisle a second time with an ex-spouse?
HOLLY [quietly, without a second’s pause]: I’d rather go down in the deep blue sea!
HOLLY leaves.
Back at the SPAULDING MANSION, ROGER still stands outside the boudoir.
JENNA: How could you do that to me, Roger?! I was all on my own. I was a nervous wreck!
ROGER: Maybe I’m smart enough to know that if you throw someone in the water [JENNA shakes her head.] they stand a very good chance of learning to swim alone.
JENNA: Oh, RUBBISH! You never gave me a second thought and you know it!
ROGER sets the tray aside. GRADY turns up.
GRADY [eyeing the tray . . . not impressed]: What the hell is that?
ROGER: What are you doing here?!
GRADY: You know, by the looks of that thing, I can see why she won’t come out.
JENNA [relieved to hear him] : Grady? Grady, is that you?
GRADY: Yes, your grace!
JENNA lets him in but still manages to keep ROGER out.
JENNA: Did you follow him? Did you find out where he went?
GRADY: Look, look, look, look! I was right on his tail from the time he left ‘il the time he pulled up in that lady’s driveway.
JENNA: Oh, not Holly’s place! Please, don’t tell me it was Holly!
GRADY: Look, I’d really like to oblige you, sweetheart, but I can’t.
JENNA [facing the worst]: All right. How long was he there?
GRADY: Long enough to make her dinner. And,. umm, I really hate to tell you this, but, I think he would have liked to have made something else.
JENNA: How do you know?
GRADY: Well, as the song says, [He sings] “A kiss is still a kiss . . .”
JENNA: Oh . . .!
GRADY: I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Jenna, I’m sorry!
JENNA: He cooked her dinner. What did he cook for her?
GRADY: Well, I wouldn’t exactly say “cooked.” [GRADY pulls out a plastic gallon-size Ziploc bag.] But I never saw anyone take so long to make one lousy tuna sandwich.
JENNA: What is that?
GRADY: What do you think it is? It’s garbage. I went through his garbage.
JENNA sighs in exasperation and despair.
GRADY: You told me you wanted proof.
JENNA: A photograph, you idiot! I didn’t want trash!
GRADY: The camera jammed! I thought this would be the next best thing. Don’t bite my head off!
JENNA: I’m upset, all right! I’m sorry, I’m sorry.
GRADY: I think what you’re trying to say is, “Thanks for nothin’.” Look, uh, break a leg, huh? Do me a favor . . . make sure it’s one of his, huh?
As GRADY goes, he leaves the door open. JENNA puts the bag of garbage in a drawer before ROGER sees it. ROGER comes in.
ROGER: Well, Grady’s a miracle worker. I’d about given up.
JENNA: Roger, do you
know something? I’m a very good listener. And I’m actually going to prove
that—again. Right now. By asking you a simple question and listening very,
very carefully to your answer. Is that okay?
ROGER: Shoot . . .
JENNA: Okay. Last night, when I was with our clients, where were you?
ROGER: Where was I?
JENNA: Um-hmm.
ROGER: Well, the FCC, which as you know, is famous for their spot-checks, paid me a surprise visit last night, started interrogating me about some technicality in the broadcast code just as I was leaving the station to join you.
JENNA: So, you were at WSPR all evening?
ROGER: Yeah, why?
The scene fades with
a close-up on JENNA’S eyes.
At the COUNTRY CLUB, preparations for Billy
and Vanessa’s wedding are taking place in the chapel on the other side of the
golf course. The guests wear white Edwardian-style dresses and suits.
ED, MICHELLE, and BRIDGIT sit all alone in the chapel.
BRIDGIT: Is there a reason we’re five
kajillion hours early?
ED: I was afraid of traffic.
MICHELLE: But there wasn’t any.
ED: All right, all right. I was a little . . . over-cautious.
BRIDGET giggles.
ED: Have you ever been late to a wedding? There’s no way you can sneak in quietly, you know? The door opens in the back and everyone turns around and stares. [Just as he says this, the door does open in the back and they all automatically turn around to see another early arrival—HOLLY. ED feels justified . . .] See . . .
HOLLY [facetiously]: Looks like we made it to the church on time!
MICHELLE [gets up to greet her]: Holly!
HOLLY: Hi, honey!
MICHELLE: Come, sit with us!
HOLLY: You sure that’s right? I won’t be removed to another side?
MICHELLE: They didn’t tell us which side to sit on. Dad, move over.
MICHELLE “arranges” them so that HOLLY sits between her and ED.
MICHELLE: It looks more normal that way.
HOLLY and ED give each other wry looks, and
shrug.
Back in the BOUDOIR . . .
JENNA: So, when would you say they “dropped in” on you?
ROGER: The FCC?
JENNA: Yes . . . Are we talking about anybody else?
ROGER: No, I guess not. Well, about six o’clock. I mean, they descended on me like some sort of mob hit squad and they kept me so busy I didn’t even get a chance to get to the phone and tell you what was going on.
JENNA: Poor dear. There
I was, wining and dining, while you were being roasted over an open spit by the
feds. [JENNA says those last few words as though she’d like to roast
him—but just lightly enough to elude ROGER’S perception.]
ROGER laughs.
ROGER: Look, I feel terrible, but what could I do?
JENNA: Such a shame, too. We had a lovely dinner. Your favorite— Beef Wellington!
ROGER: Nuts!
JENNA: What did you have?
ROGER: Oh, I think I threw together a tuna sandwich.
JENNA [“turning the knife”]: You’re not very sure. Perhaps we could check with Holly.
ROGER: Holly?
JENNA goes to the dresser and pulls out the trash.
ROGER: What’s that?
JENNA [she deposits it on his lap]: Garbage! Just like you’ve been dishing at me!
ROGER knows he’s been caught.
At the CHAPEL, ED, HOLLY, MICHELLE, and BRIDGIT wait. Boredom has set in; even ED starts acting like a kid. He eyes HOLLY, makes sure the girls are looking also, and then allows himself to fall over on the pew in front of him, neatly smacking himself on the forehead. They all giggle.
ED: We did get here too early. I’m fallin’ asleep.
HOLLY [laughing]: Did you bring your cards?
ED: Hey! That’s what we need around here—a little five-card stud!
BRIDGIT: I hate stud. I’m thirsty. Is there a water fountain outside?
MICHELLE: Yeah. I think there was. Let’s go.
ED: Uh, guys, listen, don’t go too far. I mean, this show is going to get on the road soon.
The girls brush him off with a “Yeah, yeah, yeah” as they leave in opposite directions.
In the BOUDOIR . . .
ROGER: Well, I didn’t think much of your Grady before. I think even less of him now.
JENNA: Why? Because
he told me the truth, which is a damn sight more than I got from you.
ROGER: How many times can I say “I’m sorry”?
Look, all right, I should have told you that I had to go see Holly. [JENNA
sighs.] But, you see, look, exactly this! You get so touchy about her, I figured, “Why make waves?”
All right, I chose the easy way out. I should have told you about her. I admit
it.
JENNA: The only thing you haven’t admitted is why you had to go see her in the first place. What was so damned urgent?
ROGER: At the risk of being repetitious, we do happen to share a daughter!
JENNA: Oh, yes—a daughter that she barely speaks to, who she really can’t stand!
ROGER: No, you’re wrong about that! Okay, they don’t have the conventional mother-daughter relationship, but certainly does care about her! I certainly feel an obligation to tell her when Chrissy has a problem!
JENNA: She always has problems, Roger! You know, most normal fathers would be a little livid with the number of problems that she seems to have, that she whines about daily! But not with you, because it’s absolutely all right with you! It gives you an excuse to go cook her mother dinner!
ROGER: A tuna sandwich! You’re acting like it was a seven-course meal!
JENNA [quietly overwrought]: A tuna sandwich! A tuna sandwich is more than you have ever made for me. You have bought things, you have ordered things, you have commissioned things, but I can’t remember a time when I saw you roll up your sleeves and so much as chop a slice of celery for me.
ROGER: Do you think maybe you’re overreacting just a tad?
JENNA: YOU KISSED HER, FOR HEAVEN’S SAKES!
The phone rings, and JENNA picks up.
JENNA: No, I’m sorry . . . He’s a bit busy at the moment, Mr. Davis. But don’t worry, he will be all yours very shortly. Yes. [Hangs up.] That was Mr. Davis . . . and you may call him back—at your club!
ROGER: Aw, now c’mon.
JENNA: You hurt me.
ROGER: You’re not being fair, you
know that.
JENNA: So? So what!?
That’s the one thing you taught me about power—is it doesn’t
matter! I want you out of my
house, now.
ROGER is packing.
ROGER: You don’t want this. You don’t want to live here by yourself. You hate being alone.
JENNA says nothing. ROGER comes towards her.
ROGER: How far do you intend to go with this?
ROGER: Well, if I’m no longer desired in your bed, will I still be desired at the office?
ROGER turns and looks back before he leaves.
Out of the Mouths of Babes
01/04/06 05:14:49 PM