Cliff House: Laurel Falls ... And After

Thursday, May 27, 1993

SCENE: The FIFTH STREET DINER. Memorial Day. At night. The DINER is crowded with veterans and extremely noisy. Just outside, more veterans and their families are having a picnic, fireworks, and other entertainments. (Incidentally, for MICHELLE BAUER, “entertainment” will mean causing an incident by putting fireworks under the chair of LILLIAN RAINES, a minor plot point but one referred to later in these transcripts).

ROGER waits in a booth. Soon, HOLLY arrives. They are both in a good mood.

HOLLY: Oh, my! [As she tries to get past people . . .]

ROGER stands up as she approaches him and then takes his seat with her.

ROGER: Hey!

HOLLY: I’m so glad you can meet me.

ROGER: What a crowd!

HOLLY: Yeah, I didn’t expect this.

BUZZ comes into the diner and argues with HARLEY. Everyone learns that BUZZ is indeed BUZZ (HARLEY’S father), rather than REX MANCINI.

ROGER, startled and amused, stands up in the middle of their fight and exclaims, “This is in incredible!” and Mallet tells him, “Mind your own business, Thorpe!” ROGER is not abashed. He responds, “I always do, Cameletti!”, but leaves them to their fighting.

In their booth, ROGER and HOLLY have to yell to hear each other.

ROGER [relishing the gossip]: So Mancini is Harley’s father?

HOLLY: Buzz Cooper!

ROGER: Who’d have thunk it?

HOLLY: Why is this funny?

ROGER: Did you know about this from the beginning?

HOLLY: Me? [Laughs]

ROGER: No?

HOLLY: I don’t know anything!

ROGER: So, good ole Rex Mancini turns out to be bad ole Buzz Cooper! Harley and Mallet didn’t seem too pleased about it.

HOLLY: Didn’t you do business with Rex?

ROGER: It’s a long story.

HOLLY: Why aren’t any of your stories short?

ROGER [cupping his hands into a mock-megaphone]: The only story I’m interested in right now is yours. Why did you want to talk to me?

HOLLY: Yeah, uh . . . [HOLLY points to her ear . . . shakes her head.]

ROGER: Maybe we should go somewhere else to talk.

HOLLY [one hand to her ear, mocking]: Yeah—what?—yeah.

ROGER [laughs, and puts a hand to his ear]: Okay—what’d ya say? It’s loud in here. It’s also hot.

Just as ROGER makes that last comment, HOLLY pulls her hair back off of her head and runs her fingers through it. ROGER’S ‘til-then-glib smile freezes into something more significant as he watches her.

ROGER [getting out of the booth]: C’mon.

HOLLY: What?

ROGER [still yelling; signaling for her to come along]: C’mon. I know a place, a place I bet you haven’t been to in years!

An Interlude: At the SPAULDING MANSION, JENNA, who had been planning a romantic night with ROGER, found a note he had made to himself, “Meet Holly at the diner, 6 P.M.” Now, JENNA is systematically destroying a vase full of flowers as she paces back and forth across the study floor. GINGER enters.

GINGER: Update on the, uh, Cesar salad. . . . It’s gone. I ate it.

JENNA: Why doesn’t that surprise me?

GINGER: I, uh, moved on to the escallopes d’veau.

JENNA: You know what, Ginger, if you can pronounce that, I think you have the right to eat it!

GINGER: Should I save you some?

JENNA: NO! Bon appetite!

GINGER: I feel bad.

JENNA [laughs]: But not that bad, right?

GINGER: I won’t touch the, uh, milly-uh-fi-willies?

JENNA: You know what? Neither would I! [JENNA smashes two plates.]

GINGER: Whew! I hope that didn’t have my face on it! Ouch!

GINGER turns to go.

JENNA: Ginger, wait!

GINGER: The escallopes are getting cold.

JENNA: You know what? I don’t think you would taste the difference, would you?

GINGER: You’re . . you’re right. [Tries to escape.]

JENNA: Ginger!

GINGER: Mistress!

JENNA: Please . . . uh, could you please be honest with me for just a minute?

GINGER: I’ll try.

JENNA: Now, this has absolutely nothing to do with me. It’s totally a hypothetical.

GINGER: That’s a relief.

They give each other wary looks for a moment, but then JENNA continues.

JENNA: It has to do with a friend . . . I want to help a friend.

Immediate CUT to BUZZ COOPER on the lawn of the SPAULDING ESTATE. Then, CUT back to JENNA and GINGER.

JENNA: So, what would you think, then?

GINGER: If the man I lived with . . .

JENNA: Was always checking with his ex-wife, always consulting with her . . .

GINGER [skeptical]: Consulting?

JENNA: Why? Do you think that’s a word that means something else, like—

GINGER: Personal maids don’t think, but my gut feeling is that your old friend should dump the jerk.

JENNA: Just like that, without a second chance?

GINGER: How could you—er, she—How could she do that? Unless . . .

JENNA: What? Unless what?

GINGER: If your old friend really cared about that guy, then maybe she should find a way to get rid of the ex-wife.

JENNA [delighted]: Yes! Get rid of the ex-wife! Yes!

GINGER: I’m talking this side of shooting.

JENNA: Oh . . .

Just as she says it, there’s a “Boom!” in the background. It’s BUZZ, popping fireworks.

Meanwhile, KAT and DAVID talk in the dark at LAUREL FALLS. Suddenly, they hear voices.

ROGER: Look out for that snake! Just kidding! There we go . . .

As ROGER and HOLLY come into view, both enjoying themselves . . .

HOLLY: I don’t need to be doing this in heels.

Upon seeing KAT and DAVID kissing, they stop.

HOLLY: Oh.

ROGER: Sorry. [to HOLLY] It was such a good idea, we already got beat to it.

KAT: It’s okay. We were actually just leaving.

KAT and DAVID go.

ROGER [smiling]: Alone at last!

HOLLY: Well, you weren’t kidding when you said you wanted some place quieter.

ROGER: If we could only get the crickets to cooperate.

HOLLY: Uhm . . . I love the smell of pine.

ROGER: We had some good talks here, didn’t we?

HOLLY: Here?

ROGER [walking by her; looking around]: Holly, this is Laurel Falls. . . . Don’t you remember? This is where all Springfield’s good girls and boys come when they’re young and in love [he turns and smiles] . . . even us.