Caught In The Act

Friday, November 9, 1990

SCENE: The honeymoon cottage, morning--

As ROGER and HOLLY enjoy the dancing and the music, ROSS and ALEXANDRA enter the room. The four take a good look at each other. HOLLY’S expression, in particular, is down-right funny, as if to say, "What have I been caught doing now?!". ROSS steps forward, in a fighting mood.

HOLLY: Ross, I can explain! No, stop! Now, Ross, nothing happened! Nothing happened!

ROSS: What do you mean, "nothing happened"?

HOLLY: We were just dancing!

ROSS: "Just dancing"!

HOLLY: Yeah, yeah, yeah. The convention was such a success; we were just celebrating.

ROSS: There’s only one bed; where did you sleep? Or were you up all night, "celebrating"?

At this, ROGER cuts in.

ROGER: I slept on that couch over there; it was actually quite comfortable.

HOLLY: See? There’s no reason to be upset. Nothing happened.

ROSS: What do you mean, "nothing happened"? You’re here, with him!

HOLLY: I can explain all that.

ROGER: I will explain. An East coast syndicator, Don Spinner, offered us the use of this cottage. I accepted. I thought it would be a good idea to work and discuss the show without all the distractions of the convention. That’s all.

HOLLY and ALEX exchange looks as ROGER says this; both women know that he’s offering a glib lie to placate ROSS.

HOLLY: And I agreed with him. This Spinner is a major distributor. I mean, I didn’t want to offend him. WSPR is going to make so much money if we—

ROSS [enraged]: Save it, would you?!! Just spare me!! I mean, you two are really something! I can’t deal with this any more.

HOLLY: Ross, Ross, you’ve got every reason to be upset. I know this is bizarre but if you would just try to understand the circumstances.

ROSS: I understand the circumstances. It’s you I don’t understand.

ROSS leaves. HOLLY gives ALEXANDRA a look, and then follows ROSS out, leaving ROGER to contemplate ALEXANDRA. She looks vaguely astonished, but affects a nonchalant air as she says . . .

ALEXANDRA: Well, now that I know that you and Holly are all right, I can go home. Ah, please call a car to take me back to my hotel.

ROGER [cool irony]: Aren’t you going to ask me? I know you’re dying to know.

ALEXANDRA: Tell the clerk I’ll wait out front.

ALEXANDRA turns to go, but ROGER takes her by the arm and turns her back to him.

ROGER: Just a minute! You ask me if I slept with Holly!

ALEXANDRA: Let go of me!

ROGER: You ask me if I slept with Holly! I know that’s what you’re thinking, isn’t it?! ISN’T IT!!!

ALEXANDRA [snatching her arm back, sarcastic]: Fine. Since you brought it up—did you sleep with Holly?

But at just this moment, HOLLY comes back in the room and walks straight to ALEXANDRA and says . . .

HOLLY: Ross went back to the hotel. He wouldn’t talk to me; he wouldn’t even listen. I’ve gotta make her understand.

ALEXANDRA [brushing her off]: Ah, well, uh, Roger was about to call a car for me; we’ll all go back together.

HOLLY: Roger, please!

ROGER [grimly]: Right.

ROGER steps over to the telephone. In the meantime, HOLLY quietly asks ALEXANDRA, "What happened? Why did you bring Ross here?"

ALEXANDRA: Perkins had a heart attack!

HOLLY [not comprehending]: What?

ALEXANDRA: When I realized you were alone with Roger, I panicked, Holly! I was afraid things might get out of hand.

HOLLY: But you went to Ross for help?

ALEXANDRA: Tell me what happened!

ROGER joins them.

ROGER: They’ll have a car waiting out front by the time we get there.

HOLLY: Hurry!

HOLLY rushes off, and ALEXANDRA and ROGER exchange an unpleasant look before she leaves as well.

Alone and angry, ROGER takes off the cook’s shirt and gets his own put on his shoulders, but not buttoned, when his eyes fall on something white draped across a chair. It’s HOLLY’S negligee.

He picks it up in both of his hands, reminiscent of the way he had held HOLLY the night before when bringing her in from the terrace. Suddenly, he presses the negligee to his nose and lips, burying his face in it.

ROGER and ALEXANDRA enter room 416 at the Hotel El Reale.

ALEXANDRA: Lock it! I don’t want to be interrupted again.

ROGER: All right, where were we? Ah, yes! You wanted to know if I slept with Holly.

ALEXANDRA: Just tell me the truth. It’s the only way we’ll get past this.

ROGER: The truth, huh? Okay, Alex. No, I didn’t sleep with Holly.

ALEXANDRA [laughs]: Well, what else would you say? Whether or not Holly agrees remains to be seen.

ROGER: Why did you come down here? And why on earth did you bring Ross with you?

ALEXANDRA: You’d better start packing. I want to get back to Springfield as soon as possible.

ROGER: The truth, Alex! [Ironically] It’s the only way we’re going to get past this.

ALEXANDRA: I called you, Roger. They told me you and Holly had checked out. I panicked, and went to Ross. And we flew down immediately to see what had happened.

ROGER: Yeah, but why "panic"? I mean, people switch hotels all the time.

ALEXANDRA: And leave word where they can be reached. You didn’t.

ROGER: So naturally you assumed the worse.

ALEXANDRA: Given your history, what should I think?

ROGER: NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME!! What I did with Holly, and to Holly, was years and years ago! Why can you not accept the fact that a man can change?!

ALEXANDRA: I am talking about when you lied to me! The waterfront buyout! Ruth Price! How can I trust you to honor your marriage vows, when I can’t trust you to tell the truth?

ROGER: All right, I swear to you—I did not break our marriage vows with Holly, but you, you ...

ALEXANDRA: ME??!!

ROGER: .... might have done Holly a grave disservice by dragging Ross into all this! [A knock at the door] He may not care why you did it! Come in!

ALEXANDRA: It’s locked!

ROGER opens the door to HOLLY, who immediately tells them (ALEXANDRA, particularly) . . .

HOLLY: I’m sorry to bother you but I can’t find Ross anywhere.

ALEXANDRA: He isn’t in his room next door?

HOLLY: No, and I’ve called everywhere I can think about. Nobody has seen him. What am I gonna do? I can’t lose him.

ROGER [to ALEXANDRA]: Well, are you satisfied?

ALEXANDRA: Where are you going?

ROGER: Oh, I’m going out. In the meantime, maybe you can figure out a way to apologize for dragging Ross into your paranoia!

ROGER slams the door on his way out. ALEXANDRA gives HOLLY a wary look.

ALEXANDRA: Well, is my husband still in love with you?

As this scene begins, ALEXANDRA is vulnerable, while HOLLY is surprisingly warm and happy because of the good news she has for ALEXANDRA. Apparently, she even believes it herself.

HOLLY: Roger doesn’t love me. He loves you.

ALEXANDRA: When I last spoke to you ...

HOLLY: I know. I thought I had him hooked. Maybe about for a minute. I was certainly available!

ALEXANDRA: He went to that cabin with you!

HOLLY: Yes. But when the moment came, nothing happened.

ALEXANDRA: Nothing at all?

HOLLY: Well, actually, I became somewhat aggressive and, uh ...

ALEXANDRA: What?

HOLLY: He rejected me.

Both of the women laugh for a moment, ALEXANDRA in relief, HOLLY because she seems pleased to report that ROGER isn’t quite the "monster" she thought him.

ALEXANDRA: Oh, thank heaven! Did he suspect anything?

HOLLY: A plot? No, Alex. He just wanted to do what was right. Now, you’ve a chance for a real marriage, now. Take it. Be happy.

ALEXANDRA: I will. I will! Thank you, Holly. I never would have been sure about Roger without your help. You saved my marriage.

HOLLY: Now we’ve got to save mine. You’ve got to help me try and convince Ross that nothing happened. [ALEXANDRA’S face falls slightly as she hears this]. We’re gonna go with Roger’s story that we went to the cottage to work without distraction, okay?

ALEXANDRA: That may not be so easy.

HOLLY: Why?

ALEXANDRA: You know how Ross is—so analytical—trained to look for inconsistencies in a story.

HOLLY: How much did you tell him?

ALEXANDRA: I tried to make you look innocent, Holly.

HOLLY [anxious]: What did you tell him?

ALEXANDRA: But I was so afraid for you, and when Ross realized that I’d hired Perkins in advance—

HOLLY: What did you say? How much does he know?

ALEXANDRA [uncomfortable]: Everything. He knows everything.

HOLLY: Everything! You told him about the plan!!

ALEXANDRA: I tried not to, but he’s a lawyer, and I was so frightened for you, Holly!

HOLLY: Alex, you swore that you would protect me in this!

ALEXANDRA: I know! But I--

HOLLY [hysterical]: Oh, Alex! What have you done?! What have you done to me?!

ALEXANDRA: I’m sorry, Holly. Look it’ll be all right. [Calling after HOLLY as she rushes out.] Ross loves you, Holly!

Alone, ALEXANDRA shrugs and says, "It’s not like anything happened!"

ROGER finds ROSS sitting at the bar downstairs at the Hotel El Reale, and takes a seat beside him, ordering a club soda.

ROGER: Nothing happened.

ROSS [coldly, ironically]: Are you sure?

ROGER: I'd remember. C’mon. We were dancing to celebrate our success with Spinner. That’s all.

ROSS: It may have been just dancing to you, but to Holly, it was something else.

ROGER: You’ve got it all wrong.

ROSS: Do I?

ROGER: Uh hmm. Holly and I work well together. We make a great team. Look, we came down here with a lousy half-hour pilot to sell as a series--

ROSS: I bet Holly really sold that old love bug, didn’t she?

ROGER: It was a business deal, pure and simple.

ROSS: That’s what you think.

ROGER: What do you mean?

ROSS [finally bothering to look at ROGER]: Roger, you may not have had Holly, but she certainly had you.

Back in 416, ALEXANDRA picks up a black lace negligee out of her luggage, and holds it up to herself in the mirror, saying, "Roger, you wanted a marriage in every sense of the word, and you shall have it. Tonight will be the start of a wonderful new life for us. A clean slate. No more secrets, no more lies."

Back down in the bar, ROGER cannot yet understand ROSS’S point, but his demeanor bothers him.

ROGER: What do you mean, "Holly had me"? What are you talking about?

ROSS: You remember that little clause in your pre-nuptial agreement? The one that keeps you on a very short, very monogamous leash?

ROGER: How do you know about that?

ROSS: From Alex. They decided to put you to the test, Rog.

ROGER: Alex?

ROSS: And Holly. Your wife, and my fiancée, set you up.

As ROGER understands ROSS’S implication, a look of pain creeps into his eyes, and he sighs the tiniest sigh. Just at that moment, an especially beautiful-looking HOLLY steps down to the bar.

HOLLY sees ROGER’S disappointed, hurt expression, and knows that ROSS has told him everything; for a second, her eyes silently plead with him.

ROGER gets up, with some anger now. As he passes HOLLY, she tries to stop him, but ROGER shrugs her hands off of his shoulders.

Next Scene:
The End