MAUREEN BAUER enters the back door of the Bauer house. She tries to tip-toe quietly into her own darkened kitchen, but while feeling her way around, she knocks something off the table and it crashes to the floor.

MAUREEN:  Oh....damn! Why am I sneaking around?  This is ridiculous. I'm just going to do my business and leave!

ROGER  THORPE  [also walking in the back door, a voice in the darkness]:  You alright?

MAUREEN [surprised and frightened]: Oh no...no, don't touch me!

ROGER [calm, matter-of-factly]:   Listen, don't be afraid , I was just...

MAUREEN [quickly backing away from Roger, and then screaming]:  No, no...Ed, help me!

ROGER [confused]:  What are you doing? Please.. please...

Enter ED BAUER in a pastel bathrobe. ED attempts to tackle ROGER. He leaps, but ROGER turns and brushes him off. So ED flies on by ROGER, ending up face down on the kitchen counter.  He comes towards ROGER again, screaming.

ED:  What the hell are you doing?!!

ROGER:  Take it easy, I was ...

Enter HOLLY LINDSEY, also bathrobe-clad. She points a gun at ROGER.

HOLLY:  Freeze or I'll shoot!!!

HOLLY:  Move away from them or I'll shoot you, I swear I will!

ED [calmly]:  Holly, Holly...give me the gun...

ROGER [takes the gun]:  What is the matter with you?!!!? She could hurt somebody with this thing!!!

HOLLY:  I wish I had! So what are you gonna do now? Shoot all of us? Is that why you came back here?

ROGER:  Don't be an idiot! (he hands the gun to ED) Maybe you oughta hang on to this for safekeeping?

ED [whispering to HOLLY]:  Where did you get this?

HOLLY [loudly]:   I bought it to protect us from him!

ED:  Is it loaded?

HOLLY:  Of course it's loaded! What'd you think I was gonna do, tease him to death?

ED:  It's dangerous to have a loaded gun in a house with a child in it!

HOLLY:  I had to do something. I knew he was gonna come back here for us.

MAUREEN and ROGER are standing at the kitchen counter, taking all this in, when MAUREEN suddenly finds something about HOLLY awfully familiar].

MAUREEN [astonished]:  That's my robe!

ED [turning to MAUREEN]:  What?!!!

ROGER:  Uh, apparently your ex-wife is wearing your current wife's bathrobe.

[MAUREEN suddenly bursts out laughing]

MAUREEN [apologetically]: Oh, excuse me, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, it's  just that this is....this whole thing is so ridiculous!

ROGER:  Listen, listen ... don't...I'm sorry, I didn't come here to cause trouble, I just thought....

ED: Wait a minute! How did you escape from the police?

ROGER:  I didn't escape from the police. The feds are right outside.

HOLLY:  Oh, that's great news.

ROGER:  I...they gave me ten minutes. I'll just make this brief. It's about Blake.

HOLLY:  What about her? Where is she? If you've laid a hand on her...

ROGER  [interrupting, loudly]:  Incidentally .....!!!!   Alan Spaulding was arrested tonight for all the recent accidents you thought I was responsible for.

MAUREEN:  Alan?!!!

HOLLY:  What does that have to do with Blake? Where is she...?

ROGER:  She's safe. She'll return when the dust settles. I just thought you both might wanna know.

ED:  What the hell is the story here? I mean, you let everyone believe that you were dead for 15 years, and then you come swooping back in our lives, you wanna play the doting daddy? We're supposed to believe this?

ROGER:  Not that you give a damn....but,  I love my daughter, OK? More than my life.

ED:  By the way, how did you survive that fall in Santo Domingo?

ROGER:  I was saved by the federal government. They thought I might be of use to them and by golly, I have been.

ED [sarcastic and doubtful]:  Oh, oh...we're supposed to think you're in the CIA?

ROGER:  Special agent. Covert operations.

ED:  Covert operations. Well, that's right up your alley, isn't it?  I tell you, you could be the CIA, the FBI and the IRS wrapped up  all in one and it wouldn't change who you really are, which is a thief,  a con artist and a rapist. Is that what Uncle Sam really considers to be its finest now?

The Kitchen Incident continues ...
    Scenes III and  IV

Email:  ThorpeRenaldi@michaelzaslow.com  

Copyright © 1999 by Michael Zaslow's ZazAngels. All rights reserved.
01/04/06 05:14:39 PM